When 90-year-old Daniel Shuck died of a heart attack in June, his family members didn’t call a funeral home. They went to St. Vincent Regional Medical Center, dressed him in clean clothes — nothing fancy, just what he usually wore — placed him in a wooden coffin made by his son-in-law and took him home to the family’s land in Pecos.There, they held a simple ceremony to bid him Godspeed and buried his body in a grove of trees across an arroyo from the home he had shared with his wife of 68 years.
“I had a backhoe lined up to dig the grave site, but the boys, the grandkids and everybody in the family, they come up with their picks and shovels and they did it all by hand,” said Shuck’s daughter, Neva Thompson.
“We took care of everything ourselves just like they did in the old days,” Thompson said. “It was a very healing thing to do.”
Shuck’s widow, Hazel Shuck, 84, said the couple decided about 10 years ago that they wanted to be buried on their 3-acre Pecos property.
“We love this place,” she said. “It’s just like the Garden of Eden or something, it’s just so beautiful and peaceful. When we got it paid off so it was really ours, we decided we’d like to be buried here. So that was how it happened.”
Thompson said she was a little uncomfortable when her parents first started talking about where they wanted to be buried, but she contacted San Miguel County and found out it would be relatively simple and economical to accommodate their wishes — something Thompson said her father, a thrifty, hardscrabble man with traditional ideals, would have appreciated.
“He wanted it very simple,” she said. “He didn’t want to leave Mom with a huge bill for the funeral. And he had already picked out the place so he’d be close to the family so we wouldn’t have to drive miles to put flowers on his grave.”
Thompson said she wants others to know that they don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to bury their loved ones.
There are costs involved — some counties charge a small fee for a burial application, and the grave site must be surveyed and the site added to the plat of the property — but the overall amount is a fraction of what it can cost to pay for the services of a funeral home.
Thompson said the total cost of her father’s funeral — including about $600 for the survey — was less than $1,000.
Directors from two funeral homes listed in the Santa Fe phone book said the average price of a funeral handled by professionals is between $3,000 — for the most basic services — and $10,000 — for a funeral with a more expensive coffin or additional services, such as a rosary held at the funeral home.
Several newspaper stories on the issue have listed funeral expenses as the third largest single purchase made during (or immediately after) a person’s life — after the purchases of a home and car. Daniel Shuck’s family said the financial cost of a home burial might be cheap, but the emotional experience was a rich one.
“It just seemed to mean more. There were no strangers involved,” Thompson said.
“It’s such a lost thing. People don’t do it anymore, and they should,” she added. “I was expecting some really debilitating grief, but looking back on it, watching the kids and watching the family come together, it was such a healing thing that that never happened.
“I’m sad and I miss him. But the horrible grief you expect to have just wasn’t there because we lovingly did it all ourselves and we did exactly what he wanted. It was just such an awesome thing — if funerals can be awesome.”
Ed Patton, owner of Direct Services Cremation and Burial, an Albuquerque-based mortuary that specializes in low-cost burials, said laws — such as one that requires dead bodies to be embalmed, buried or refrigerated within 24 hours of death — and social taboos still make professionally handled funerals the norm. But some customers have been getting more involved in the process of preparing their loved ones for burial, he said.
“There is a movement toward doing things at home,” Patton said. “Like when a death occurs at home, some people are keeping (the body) there for the 24 hours to have whatever services they wish at home, and then they call the mortuary to pick (the body) up and perform the cremation or whatever.
“The 24-hour restriction does limit your choices,” Patton said. “But we have picked (bodies) up, done the prep on them and then the family picks them up from our door, and away they go to do whatever services they wish to do at the church or the cemetery.”
Patton said most of the families he’s dealt with that participated in some way with the burial of a body — by making their own casket, having a viewing at the family home or burying a family member on private property — do it for religious or personal reasons, not finances.
“It seems to be those people who have less resources also have less ability to do these things (such as deal with the time limitations),” Patton said. “Though there are a certain amount who live in rural areas who are used to taking care of their own. Whatever yo_are able to do yourselves certainly adds a personal and loving touch,” he said. “But it’s still rather intimidating. More and more, we tend to let the professionals (do it), whether it’s repairing your car or home repairs or mortuary things. People turn to professionals rather than being the self-reliant people we once were 100 years ago.”
Hazel Shuck’s son-in-law built a bridge across the arroyo that separates her house from the stand of trees where her husband was buried, so she can visit his grave.
“It helps to be close to him,” she said. “When I’m overwhelmed with things I don’t like, I go up there and sit with him,” she said. “I don’t really talk to him, except in my mind and my heart, but yes, it is comforting. I want my grave right there next to my husband. After 60 some years, I’m lost without him.”
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By Phaedra Haywood, The New Mexican, 10/30/06
