While providing after-death care for your loved one it is important to pause and take moments to be present with the experience. Doing little things to appreciate your loved one can create a special memory for years to come.
Here are some ideas for doing that, but it is more important that you do what is comfortable and appropriate for your family:
- write a note about or to your loved one and put it in their coffin
- when it is time to close the coffin, pause and take some time to look at them one last time. You could create a final gesture of parting by placing a beautiful scarf or piece of lace over the face, and saying a few words.
- create a leave-taking ceremony where you speak a memory or other meaningful words before the coffin leaves your home
- speak the lineage of the loved one. For example: son of John Doe and Mary Smith Doe, brother to Mildred and Michael Doe, father of Leo and Charles and Catherine Doe, etc.
- list the kindnesses you can remember your loved one doing and say them or write them on their coffin
- place a small table by the deceased and put a rose petal on it with her wedding ring or favorite jewelry resting on it.
- trace your hand print on the casket and fill it in with words or art to express your love for the deceased
- bless the body of the loved one. Example: We appreciate and bless your lips which have said such kind words to us and spoken your truth. We bless your hands that have served us through the years and have cared for us so deeply.
- hold a vigil letting friends and loved ones know the “Calling Hours”
You do not have to limit yourself to one memorial service. Take as many opportunities as you would like to create special moments of reflection, spontaneous rituals. Doing this will nourish your memories for years.
