Regarding home funerals…
Fear of having the body nearby is the hard issue. Families are concerned about odor and seeing the body deteriorate. They’re afraid it will melt right in front of their eyes. Over a couple of days the body does change, usually in subtle ways. It starts to look more like a shell. But having a wake and caring for the body in the home is the way we used to do it.
Another fear is looking at our own mortality. People don’t want to do that. But bathing the body of a family member or friend following death, sitting beside their body, talking to them, maybe crying beside them, all helps us come to terms with their passage. We begin to receive the information with many of our senses, helping to bring some closure to the initial shock that death can bring.
The amazing thing that happens during a home funeral is that people discover an inner strength that perhaps they didn’t know existed within themselves. Like so many fears, when we are willing to meet the challenge, those fears begin to dissolve quickly.
Active participation is a huge help with grieving. Being involved in something so important and authentic allows a natural opening and flow of our inner life. That can greatly assist the healing process.
People who engage in home funerals feel like they’ve done something to help, instead of feeling helpless. It leaves them feeling empowered instead of walking around in the deep grief that so many people do when they’ve been passive onlookers when someone they love dies.
Jerrigrace Lyons, Final Passages, www.finalpassages, com
